planning, CRISIS, DIVERSIONS

A few nice sex scandals images I found:

PLANNING THE CRISIS DIVERSIONS FOR THE DAY

Image by roberthuffstutter

WHAT CRISIS WILL PREDOMINATE THE HEADLINES TODAY?

IT NEVER FAILS, NO MATTER HOW I TRY TO IGNORE THE CURRENT EVENTS, MY CONSCIOUSNESS GRAVITATES TOWARD THE NEAREST MEDIA OUTLET AND I LISTEN TO YET ANOTHER MAJOR CRISIS OUR NATION IS FACING. IT IS LIKE THERE IS A CONFERENCE ROOM SOMEWHERE FILLED WITH GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS AND MEDIA OFFICIALS WHO WERE AKIN TO JFK'S THINK TANK, INDIVIDUALS DEDICATED TO A FAST SOLUTION TO EACH AND EVERY PROBLEM THAT AROSE.

BUT IN TODAYS POLITCAL WORLD, I AM SENSING THAT THIS GROUP IS LOOKING AT ALL ASPECTS OF SOCIETY AND ACCESSING HOW EASY IT WOULD BE TO TOSS A MONKEY WRENCH INTO THE "STATUS QUO" TO FOUL THE GEARS. "WHAT CAN WE DO TO REALLY GET THE POPULATION STIRRED UP?"ONE NEWLY APPOINTED OFFICIAL ASKS. AND AS EYES TRAVERSE THE ROOMFUL OF HARVARD AND YALE GRADUATES, PHANTOM LIGHT BULBS APPEAR OVER SOME HEADS AND THE ROOM GLOWS.

COMMENTS ARE MADE ABOUT HOW ONE PROBLEM WILL ERASE THE FOCUS OFF OF ANOTHER PROBLEM AND THOSE IN THE MEETING SNICKER AND CHUCKLE. "I THINK WE HAD BETTER FORGET THAT LINE ABOUT 'UNPLUGGING GRANNY' ONE SLEEPY-EYED NETWORK OFFICIAL WHISPERS.

"RIGHT, RIGHT, THAT JUST DIDN'T GET IT, DID IT." ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL TAKES A BITE OF KRISPY KRUNCHER WITH SPRINKLERS AND FINALLY MUSTERS UP THE COURAGE TO ASK: "JUST WHO IN THE HELL HAD THE BRIGHT IDEA ABOUT GETTING THESE F________NAZI ARMBANDS INTO THE DISCUSSIONS? SOMEBODY HAD BEST WHISPER INTO THEIR EARS THAT THAT CRAP WAS A REAL BACKFIRE. THAT CRAP DIDN'T WORK.

FROM THE WATERCOOLER COMES A LOUD RESPONSE: "YOU TELL THAT TO HER, OKAY, IT WASN'T ON THE AGENDA. FROM ANOTHER AREA, WHERE THERE'S SEVERAL HIGH PROFILE MEDIA PERSONALITIES COMES THE COMMENT ABOUT WHOSE SILLY ASS IDEA IT WAS TO CALL ON ANYONE WHO WOULD MENTION BEING AN NRA MEMBER.

"RIGHT, THERE WAS NO CREDIBILITY THERE. WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT GROUP ANYWAY? THE LEAST THEY COULD HAVE DONE WAS SAY" YO" OR "RIGHT ON", WHAT A BUNCY OF NINNYS."

OKAY, EASE THIS THING DOWN, LET'S GET THEM THINKING ABOUT APPLIANCES OR TOASTERS, A CARBON TRADE -IN OR SOMETHING. YES, GOOD IDEA. THE ROOM WAS COMING ALIVE WITH IDEAS AS THE SUGAR FROM THE DONUTS WAS REPLENISHING ENERGY.

EVENTUALLY, SOMEBODY MENTIONED MICHAEL SAVAGES'S LATEST RANT ABOUT A PLAN TO INSTILL "MARTIAL LAW." THE ROOM BECAME SILENT.

"WHAT'S WITH THAT GUY, ANYWAY?" AN ADVISOR ASKED. A HUSH FELL OVER THE ROOM. A GUY NAMED JACK WHISPERED THAT SAVAGE WAS A NAME THAT WAS NOT MENTIONED. "EVEN THAT _________OREILLY WON'T MENTION HIM. HE GETS EVERYONE TO THINKING WAY TOO MUCH. NO, FOLLOW THE LATEST LEADS ON , ON? HELL, I DON'T KNOW, JUST MAKE SOMETHING UP, OKAY?

THUS IS THE BEGINNING OF ANOTHER DAY IN THE OFFICES OF THE MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX THAT IKE MENTIONED AS HE WAS LEAVING OFFICE IN 1960.

BY R.L. HUFFSTUTTER

041009 nws chomun eg 11




Image by Eric Guo.

Second-year Tara Chandra (left) applies make-up to first-year Kelsey Gee (right) to prepare Gee to play a prostitute for a sex scandal crisis.

Photo by Eric Guo




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